NUBES NEGRAS

Depression has me trapped, and days only bring endless hours and black clouds, no matter how sunny it is, or how well you see your loved ones, you're far from good feelings when you're stuck there.

It is an enormous feeling of sadness, in which the tears are wide, and there is no dominion over negativity.

The one who wants to help you can not. The one who talks to you, sounds stupid to you, and the one who listens to you does not really want to do it. Further down there will be something darker but I do not want to go down anymore, I have got enough.

There is no comfort at the moment. The pills make their effect, but it is temporary, you just want the day to end and wait for a little sun to come out in your mind, and you see a little light in the black room that has become your day to day.

Besides, the damn black cloud masterfully executes his weapon. It all starts with a thought that "looks like a friend" and does not stop in time, and when you realize it, anxiety makes you almost vomit, and the only refuge you find is being alone.

You do not want to hear anything, just sleep, because you have the hope that when you wake up, you will become the one you were before the storm of black clouds flooded your head.

There is only one way out of the storm, and it is to grit your teeth, and to swallow tears, and to think that someday it will go away, and that what you measure your mood will be a hug of your son, and not that breakfast toast Is not well done.

Illness born in hell, makes good days to plug the bad days, and you think it all ended when the depression really does not do more than hit hard the next day.

It rains heavily with sad tears full of shit, and I can not get clean at night, not a single day. I grit my teeth, but it escapes my mind and everything starts again.

I just want to get back to life before the storm, and I work every day to make it happen.

There are two different children who depend on me, and neither can nor deserve to see their father in the mental suit full of dry shit lamps.

I will put more strength in my recovery, waiting for the sun that I need so badly for the black clouds to go to a part where there is no one.

Reflections of an autistic.